loop of branches, idea of entering myself.
The whole to enter myself. Helenesee, 2020
  • When my calendar is full of meetings and I have no time in between to relax and eat.
  • When I have no time to cook and eat.
  • When I have a lot to read and I just discovered that there is another book or magazine that I want to “consume”.
  • When I commit to something and then discover that I don’t want to do it.
  • When I don’t have time to sit and write what is in my head.
  • When I give too much energy for social life.
  • When I talk nonsense just to fill in the silence.
  • When I travel in a rush or I go somewhere where I don’t really feel to be.
  • When I get stuck inside and have no time to walk, bike or run outside in fresh air.
  • Baking a cake
  • Walk on a beach
  • Hike in mountains or forest
  • Lying down in the hammock
  • Reading book
  • Having unlimited time to write and then rewrite
  • When I cook something really good (eg. tarka daal or lentils pate)
  • When I put a cake into the oven and I know it is going to be amazing.
  • When I have enough time to read and write. Every damn day. I don’t need to stretch in asanas, but I need to touch the keyboard and the page of text.
  • When I come back from a long walk or the bike ride or SUP-ing across the lake.
  • When I wake up and I feel no pain (and it doesn’t really matter how long did I sleep).
  • When I can sit on the beach.
  • When I know that my family is safe and not hungry.
  • When I can light a beautiful candle or turn on a scent diffuser and can write. Everything that comes to my mind.
  • When I stopped telling myself that sitting and writing does not make sense because none would read it anyway.
    (and so what? It is just about the pleasure of writing, re-reading and writing again)
  • When I admit to myself that I don’t need to do anything that makes me feel sick. That I don’t need to make unhealthy compromises between what I do and how much money I get.
lake beach, Helenesee
Peaceful autumn beach, Helenesee 2020

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